CHARLIE MULGREW: I DON'T MISS PLAYING FOOTBALL ... THERE WAS JUST TOO MUCH FEAR AND ANXIETY

• Former Celtic and Scotland defender, who retired last September,  admits the pressure of performing in front of crowds can feel suffocating
• Mulgrew says it felt like he was living life 'in a glass bowl' and was being constantly judged by others 
• The 38-year-old now hopes to help young players by passing on the experience and knowledge he picked up during career

For the past 20 years, Charlie Mulgrew has known nothing other than the countdown to the first day of pre-season training.

It gave his life structure and routine. Doing the hard yards became that little bit easier as the excitement built ahead of the big kick-off.

Now 38 and having retired last September, it would be natural to assume he will miss the only life he’s ever known. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The former Celtic man speaks for himself, but he also believes he speaks for others when he talks of a pressure in professional football that can feel suffocating at times. Bluntly, he’s glad it’s all behind him.

‘I don’t miss playing,’ he stated. ‘Not once have I looked at the games since I retired in September, genuinely, and wished I was playing.

‘I play sixes twice a week, and that’s great, I enjoy that. I sometimes miss training and being in the changing room, but the pressure games were bringing me was outweighing my motivation for actually playing.

‘Listen, being a football player is huge pressure. It’s not spoken about enough. There is so much fear and anxiety involved in playing in front of that crowd.

‘You live your life in a glass bowl. You are constantly judged. It’s difficult.

‘It’s something you need to deal with and learn to live with. But I don’t miss that side of it.’

No doubt aware of the fact that they are living out every child’s dream, professionals tend to stick to a prepared script of age-old cliches whenever they sit in front of a microphone.

When you are handsomely paid and idolised for kicking a piece of leather about a park, the consensus is that words of complaint are best kept in-house. It shouldn’t be like that, though.

No player disputes that they are in a privileged position. But all the fame and money in the world doesn’t change that fact that there’s an onerous burden that comes with the territory and largely remains unspoken.

‘That’s the thing, you still want to be there. This is the crazy thing about it,’ Mulgrew explained.

‘You live your life and that is your passion. You want to be at the top end of it, playing for Celtic and these teams that want to win.

‘It comes at a cost, but it’s the greatest thing ever when you win. So, when you win, amazing. But there is a lot of fear and pressure that goes into that.

‘You live your life with everybody judging you and, if you lose, it’s a nightmare until the next game. Then you can win and relax again.’

Asked if he panicked before games, Mulgrew replied: ‘Of course. If you aren’t nervous before a game, there is something wrong with you. It’s human nature.

‘You go in front of 60,000 fans who are demanding that you win and are scrutinising every single thing you do. But it’s why you are a Celtic player, and why when you win you get that buzz, and when you don’t, you get that other side of it.

‘Any football player I know… well, it doesn’t get spoken about enough in football, but it’s hard.

‘What I’m saying is that there is a lot of fear. There is nowhere else you would rather be, that is true, because you wouldn’t. But that doesn’t mean that it’s not hard.

‘Anything worth having in life, it’s hard, but it’s still amazing.’

The seven major honours he won at Celtic second time around were considerable compensation for the stress and anxiety that were part of the package.

By the time Mulgrew was inching towards the end of his playing days at Dundee United, though, those days in the sun became fewer and fewer.

All the life experience he’d accrued to that point did not prevent him from feeling as if he was free-falling.

‘That was horrendous,’ he grimaced.

‘A lot of the games, you didn’t really enjoy, but you won. We finished fourth, got into Europe, and I didn’t enjoy it. But we were in Europe, so I thought I’d continue playing.

‘Then we win 1-0 (against AZ), and we are buzzing, then we go away and lose seven, and from there on it was just a downwards spiral.

‘I didn’t play against Celtic but, to lose nine (a 9-0 Premiership defeat at Parkhead in August 2002) you were just spiralling into depression then. The fear and everything is coming. And then you are just getting beat, getting beat and getting beat.

‘Before you know it you are on the pitch and you are lower than a snake’s belly confidence-wise, and you get accused of downing tools.

‘The last thing you want to do as a human being is down tools, but you are gone.

‘You are emotionally drained, you have no confidence, you are bordering on depression. But the fans are judging you, saying you are downing tools and booing you every time you get the ball.

‘You’re in front of 12,000 fans who are accusing you of not fighting for the club.

‘Who does it benefit for the club to go down? It doesn’t benefit me. I want to end on a high and stay up, but you are almost playing with a 50 kilo backpack on mentally, and that is how it looks.

‘You end up trying too hard, you’re overthinking it, everything.’

Mulgrew has thought about a great deal since hanging up his boots. The relentless pressure to win and perform. The toll it could take even in the good times. How little he now misses it.

He can’t turn back the clock, but he can impart his feelings to the next generation as part of his new position as Hamilton’s under 18 coach. They will learn that professional football is extremely tough. And that’s before you even cross the white line.

‘If I go back to maybe my 17-year-old or 18-year-old self and give myself the mindset I have now, I’d probably be a lot more equipped to deal with it,’ he reflected.

‘But now I’ve got a strong passion for going into the coaching and management side, and I want to pass that experience, that knowledge and emotional intelligence onto players, and let them understand that I know what they are going through. I want to let them go and play with freedom within a structure and how I see the game.’

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2024-07-03T21:47:00Z dg43tfdfdgfd